Ideas

It started with me looking inward. In 2020, I committed to a long-term healing journey, using therapy as my main healing practice, and the experience has been nothing short of transformative. This journey helped me realize how deeply past pain and trauma drove my reactions and choices, often leading me down paths I did not want to take. I accepted that my unhealthy behavioral patterns were significantly affecting my satisfaction with various areas of my life: my relationships; my work dynamics; and, most importantly, my sense of self-worth. I leaned into learning how to identify my emotions and feelings, recognize and manage my triggers, and develop strategies for processing them to make healthier decisions.

Critically examining my thoughts, behaviors, and actions felt overwhelming and painful; I often deflected or blamed others for my problems. My therapist gently challenged these beliefs and encouraged me to reflect honestly, no matter how uncomfortable or scary the answers. As I became more honest with myself, blaming others for their impact on my life became increasingly challenging because I played an active role in those interactions. The responsibility to heal that pain rested within me. This shift — from externalizing my hurt to taking ownership of my pain — transformed my healing journey. I began taking accountability and practicing new habits rooted in grace, gently nurturing my growing sense of self-worth, and cultivating the courage to demand love — from within and from the world around me.

As I progressed in my healing journey, I began to see how deeply my behaviors and actions were affected by my life experiences and the social norms that influenced me.1 I had an epiphany: everyone in my life, including those who hurt me, is being shaped by conditions beyond their control, just as I am. While people should be held accountable for their actions, they also deserve grace and compassion. This revelation was both liberating and unsettling. I found myself grappling with the idea of forgiveness — not as a way to excuse harmful actions, but as a compassionate acknowledgment of how systemic and personal struggles shape the way people show up in the world.

It shifts from me to a deeper understanding of the forces that shape my behaviors. My internal struggles and interpersonal conflicts were rooted in a deeper reality: the Black American experience. Since 1619, Black people have faced limited or no access to time, money, power, resources, and growth opportunities due to systemic racism. Black communities have fought tirelessly to move from mere survival to contentment, most notably through the Civil Rights Movement of the 1950s and 1960s.2 While some Black people have navigated racist barriers to achieve traditional American metrics of success, centuries of systemic racism have made it difficult for most of us to truly flourish.

According to 2023 Census data, 17.9% of Black people lived in poverty compared to 9.9% of white people, with Indigenous people experiencing an even higher poverty rate of 21.2%.3 Moreover, a 2024 Urban Institute report revealed that Black homeownership rates stood at 44.3%, lower than in 2000 (45.7%). Alarmingly, the report stated that “the Black-white homeownership gap is wider than it was when segregation was legal.”4 These disparities underscore the entrenched oppressive nature of the American experience. Learning to survive racist systems has left little space to learn and practice healthy emotional expression or constructive approaches to resolving intra- and interpersonal conflict.5

The convergence of my healing journey, lived experiences, and academic knowledge made the realities of how systemic racism affected the lives of my family, community, and myself inescapable. Concepts like “Social Determinants of Health” and inequities reverberated on a deeply personal level. Systemic racism shapes our living conditions, causing pain and trauma that influence our daily experiences, the sharpness of our minds, the health of our bodies, and the joy and love that life can offer.6

Living into my new ability to see people as whole, complex beings. This newfound awareness allowed me to see people as whole, complex beings — shaped by both the choices they’ve made and the ones that were unfairly denied to them — deserving of grace and empathy as they carry the weight of systemic racism. I found myself seeking out more knowledge to explain this phenomenon that I, and so many of us, live through. I began to educate myself by turning to literature that centered the Black experience and consumed the words of Black justice and liberation leaders, researchers, and people just trying to survive. I immersed myself in understanding how my Black ancestors remained resilient in the face of slavery, human rights violations, and the theft of growth opportunities.

My newfound knowledge and passion drive me to act with love and care to build community: This knowledge unlocked a passion and purpose I never thought I would find: cultivating safety, care, and love for my people and all who suffer under the weight of oppression. I feel compelled to constantly shout to the world: It doesn’t have to be this way! Simple acts — such as creating space for Black women to wear their natural hair without comment or refraining from policing language, thereby removing the need to code-switch — allow Black people and other oppressed groups to be their whole selves.7

When we act with the intention of fulfilling needs that have long gone unmet due to oppressive living conditions — such as the denial of one’s right to express their identity — we center healing and love. As these needs are met, we cultivate safe environments that make it easier to connect with one another, build community, and drive collective action. By prioritizing the fulfillment of unmet needs in our daily lives and social change work, we can reclaim the joy, peace, and love stolen from our ancestors.8

Acting out of love is a healing practice that has always been integral to the fight for collective liberation:

“Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love.”  ~  Martin Luther King Jr.

Transforming my trauma to reclaim my voice, power, and self-worth opened my eyes to how systemic racism deliberately seeks to divide my people — fracturing our collective voice and power, keeping our liberation an abstract concept. But it doesn’t have to remain that way. Liberation is possible, and it begins with healing, knowledge, and collective action.

Practices

Healing Practices: Here is a list of 14 simple daily practices to help manage discomfort, stress, and overwhelm, fostering a sense of safety, care, and love for your mind and body. Document link

Forever Growing and Never Broken: Growth and healing are lifelong journeys. Practicing grace, empathy, and accountability daily — toward ourselves and others — helps us transform trauma and adapt to life’s challenges.

References

Calderon De La Barca, L., Milligan, K., & Kania, J. (2024). Healing Systems. Standford Social Innovation Review. https://ssir.org/articles/entry/healing-trauma-systems#
NAACP. (2022). Civil rights leaders. https://naacp.org/find-resources/history-explained/civil-rights-leaders
U.S. Census Bureau. (2024). Poverty in the United States: 2023. https://www.census.gov/library/publications/2024/demo/p60-283.html
Evans, S. (2019). Systemic Oppression and Trauma: Why Healing-centered, Two-generation Approaches are Crucial to Poverty Alleviation. Center for Hunger Free Communities. https://drexel.edu/hunger-free-center/research/briefs-and-reports/systemic-oppression-and-trauma/
Choi, J. H., Zinn, A., & Mehrotra, A. (2024). Black Homeownership Increased Slightly during the Pandemic, but High Interest Rates Threaten to Further Widen Racial Homeownership Gaps. Urban Institute. https://www.urban.org/urban-wire/black-homeownership-increased-slightly-during-pandemic-high-interest-rates-threaten
Winters, M. (2020). Black Fatigue: How Racism Erodes the Mind, Body, and Spirit. Berrett-Koehler Publishers.
Asare, J. G. (2023). How hair discrimination affects Black women at work. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2023/05/how-hair-discrimination-affects-black-women-at-work
Page, C., & Woodland, E. (2023). Healing justice lineages: Dreaming at the Crossroads of Liberation, Collective Care, and Safety. North Atlantic Books.

Calderon De La Barca, L., Milligan, K., & Kania, J. (2024). Healing Systems. Standford Social Innovation Review. https://ssir.org/articles/entry/healing-trauma-systems#
NAACP. (2022). Civil rights leaders. https://naacp.org/find-resources/history-explained/civil-rights-leaders
U.S. Census Bureau. (2024). Poverty in the United States: 2023. https://www.census.gov/library/publications/2024/demo/p60-283.html
Evans, S. (2019). Systemic Oppression and Trauma: Why Healing-centered, Two-generation Approaches are Crucial to Poverty Alleviation. Center for Hunger Free Communities. https://drexel.edu/hunger-free-center/research/briefs-and-reports/systemic-oppression-and-trauma/
Choi, J. H., Zinn, A., & Mehrotra, A. (2024). Black Homeownership Increased Slightly during the Pandemic, but High Interest Rates Threaten to Further Widen Racial Homeownership Gaps. Urban Institute. https://www.urban.org/urban-wire/black-homeownership-increased-slightly-during-pandemic-high-interest-rates-threaten
Winters, M. (2020). Black Fatigue: How Racism Erodes the Mind, Body, and Spirit. Berrett-Koehler Publishers.
Asare, J. G. (2023). How hair discrimination affects Black women at work. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2023/05/how-hair-discrimination-affects-black-women-at-work
Page, C., & Woodland, E. (2023). Healing justice lineages: Dreaming at the Crossroads of Liberation, Collective Care, and Safety. North Atlantic Books.