Ideas

This post explores why social change collectives can lose momentum even when participants remain committed to the same issue. It explains how people’s lived experiences, identities, cultural norms, trauma, biases, and relationships act as “filters” that shape how they understand one another and work together. The post offers practical approaches for strengthening internal relationships through dialogue, somatic practices, introspection, and reflection so collectives can sustain participation, accountability, and action.

We hear these phrases all the time in our work:

Relationships matter.
Change happens at the speed of trust.
People matter.

Community and systems change depend on our ability to mobilize, organize, engage, and support people from diverse backgrounds and with different lived experiences. They also require us to work with many kinds of leaders — from informal and grassroots leaders to those in formal or elected positions.

We can ground our strategies in research, draw on evidence-based practices, develop a sound theory of change, and create a strong plan, but ultimately, change happens through people. To work effectively together, we must help people reflect on who they are, how they relate to others, and how they can pursue shared aspirations while navigating their differences.

How do we create the conditions for such reflection — and for meaningful connection and collective action? This blog begins to explore that question.

Social change work has shown us time and again that collective action, such as grassroots movements and cross-sector collaboration, is a key mechanism for driving systems transformation and sustainable social change. Think about the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People’s (NAACP) role in Brown v. Board of Education or the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe’s resistance to the Dakota Access Pipeline. These groups organized themselves and bonded with other individuals motivated by their mission to address systemic inequities and promote equitable social change. But not all collectives experience this level of success. Unfortunately, many well-meaning organizations and individuals can find it challenging to work together and create the changes they had hoped to make together.

Can you think of a collective that started with well-meaning intentions and high initial engagement, but, for some reason, efforts fizzled out over time and participants dispersed? Signals that a collective may be headed down this path include:

• Engagement becoming inconsistent and waning;
• Agreement that something needs to change, but no consensus on how to create the change, who should be involved, or in what ways;
• Calls for compromise, coordination, and cooperation cause frustration that results in disagreements and conflicts that consistently resurface or go unresolved;
• Participants taking the position that they’re better equipped to lead the effort or that their ideas are better than the collective’s; and
• Participants beginning to leave to join a similar effort.

As I have facilitated gatherings for collectives, evaluated their efforts, and studied social movements, I’ve found that the collective’s relationship dynamics, including how participants relate to one another and understand themselves, play a significant role in the patterns above. Yet internal relationship dynamics are often unacknowledged, minimized, or misunderstood by the collective.

When people participate in collective action, they don’t show up as blank slates, free to have the collective’s ideas and plans shape what they believe and how they think and act. The collective is confronted with all that makes each person uniquely themselves. This includes one’s knowledge; past experiences that can range from joyful to painful; cultural norms and social patterns informed by different forms of oppression (e.g., intergenerational trauma, racism, capitalism, individualism); conscious and unconscious ways of thinking, or biases; relationships with others; and outlook on life (e.g., hopes, dreams, wishes). All these factors act as filters that each person applies to make sense of the world, who they are in it, and how they should act, think, and believe. Much like how a camera filter changes what light gets through and how a photo’s colors and mood shifts, each person’s filters shape what they let in, what stands out, and what gets distorted or missed entirely. Therefore, filters play a significant role in determining how a person understands who they are, what and who they should care about, and their ability to relate to others.

When people use similar filters, it’s easier for them to see one another’s perspectives, connect, and provide support. But when people see the world through different filters, they must exert energy, sometimes more than intended, to understand, relate to, and care for others and to respect their ideas and ways of doing things. When the latter happens among participants in a collective more often than the former, it affects the dynamic. It can become hard to act as a collective because making sense of information and consensus building feels and is difficult. The longer this persists, the more it interferes with the collective’s ability to understand, connect, and bond with one another, which can ultimately diminish participants’ commitment to one another and their desire to be part of the collective. This phenomenon is often a root cause of collectives fizzling out and can be experienced as participants:

• Losing confidence in the collective and growing doubt about the plan until they feel like it’s a waste of time;
• Feeling that their presence and contributions aren’t valued by the group and becoming detached;
• Finding that requests for creativity, autonomy, and understanding go unmet, leading them to become more resistant to changing their individual ways of being;
• Feeling that gatherings are unsafe for honest and authentic participation, leading to moments of silence and minimal critique;
• Expressing dislike and resentment toward one another, with relationships becoming damaged and broken; and
• Focusing more on internal alignment and figuring out a plan than on implementing action and learning from it.

Cultivating a collective takes a lot of effort, and muddling through mismatched filters that make it hard for the collective to understand one another and reach compromises can make collective action feel even more overwhelming. At this point, you might be wondering: How might a collective address these dynamics before they take root and become the norm? My offering to collectives is to make internal relationship building a critical component of your social change strategy. Below are practices that can help identify filters, facilitate conversations about them, and manage how they influence the collective’s relationship dynamics.

Build a greater sense of belonging through safe and thoughtful dialogue.

• Intentionally and frequently have conversations about the types of filters participants use, whether consciously or unconsciously, to make sense of the collective’s values, ideas, and plans, including personal and professional goals, lived experience, access to power through social identities, viewpoints on oppression, incrementalism vs. radical systemic overhaul, and personal and intergenerational trauma.
• Bring in external facilitators for some discussions to allow the entire collective to be fully present instead of mustering the energy and developing the skill to hold two roles: participant and facilitator.
• Be thoughtful about the type of space that needs to be cultivated to have a fruitful discussion. Facilitation practices will differ if the discussion calls for healing, restoration, community building, bridging, or collective processing of joy or grief.
• Develop norms for calling people in when they cause harm or show resistance, and collectively decide how to hold one another accountable. The magnitude of harm will not feel the same to every person; therefore, it is important to be mindful of making space not only for “significant” instances of harm. Harm can range from constantly showing up five minutes late and delaying the start of a meeting to holding power over another person so you get your way.
• Be honest about what is working and what isn’t, why, and what responsibility the collective has for addressing the constraining conditions, which could be internal or external to the collective.
• Use context clues to recognize when a situation may require non-closure and use conflict resolution and healing practices to acknowledge and ease tensions. Stay attentive to the difference between that and suppression or avoidance.
• Be intentional about connecting and bonding by creating space to talk about joyful or painful experiences, or likes and dislikes, and finding ways to have fun together.

Use somatic and body practices with the collective to help participants stay present and share practices that help them process unsettling feelings during and after gatherings.

• Teach participants about sensations the body sends to communicate that it is unsettled and needs care. If sensations such as a racing heart, sweatiness, restlessness, or even tapping feet occur, pause by drinking some water, excusing yourself from the situation, or taking some deep breaths so you create space to figure out what is unsettling you.
• Find ways to move your body by dancing, stretching, or walking to release any pent-up energy.
• Be proactive about resting and recharging physically, emotionally, and spiritually — do nothing on purpose.
• Engage in activities that feel soothing and calming. Listen to music, do arts and crafts, watch your favorite show, hang out with your favorite people, or spend time in nature.

Practice introspection and reflection to help you better understand who you are, how you show up in the world, and what you care about.

• Identify the filters you use to make sense of the world — are they serving you or creating harm?
• Learn about your relationship with power — consider how your social identities make it easier or more difficult to access knowledge, money, and resources and to have control over how you spend your time. How might this influence what you think needs changing in the world? How does it affect your ability to compromise or concede on social change strategies?
• Reflect on your actions and behaviors and see if they are aligned with your values. How might a little bit of good trouble create better alignment?
• Be curious about the stories you are telling yourself regarding who you are or who others are, especially when they are negative, and ask yourself: Does your lived experience back up this story?
• Learn about topics that trigger you so you can better regulate yourself when you find yourself involved in discussion on those topics. Systems of oppression have caused some form of trauma — personal, intergenerational, or historical — in every person’s life. This affects our ability to see another’s perspective, sit with discomfort, accept responsibility and be held accountable, express disagreement, settle conflict, or effectively compromise.
• Consider what you might gain from beginning or reengaging in a healing journey. If you are unsure, think about any events or situations that, when you revisit them, often make you feel anxious, down, or cause you to not be your best self toward others. What steps can you take to create healing for yourself?

I share the practices above as a call in for all of us to remember that we’re not always going to be able to do things how we see fit, but having people to do it with makes it more meaningful and worthwhile. Not every practice needs to happen at once, so consider starting with one that feels feasible now and one that feels more ambitious.

I am offering this because people make up collective action, and they make up systems. Therefore, we must evolve how we engage with one another so we stay involved, committed, and accountable to one another for creating the change we desire.

In my next post, I will discuss how deeply ingrained cultural norms and social patterns shape the filters we use to understand ourselves and relate to one another, to further explore the role relationship dynamics play in transformative and sustainable social change. It will include strategies and practices for cultivating different types of gathering spaces, as well as how to use healing and conflict resolution skills to navigate tensions and non-closure. Until then, please be sure to care for yourself and others and live in your joy.

About the Author

Questions this post answers:

• How can differences in lived experience, power, trauma, and worldview affect consensus and collaboration?
• How can collectives build belonging and create safer, more thoughtful dialogue?
• Why should internal relationship building be part of a social change strategy?
• Why do social change collectives sometimes lose momentum or fall apart?
• How do relationship dynamics affect collective action and systems change?
• What personal and social “filters” shape how people participate in a collective?
• What are signs that a collective’s internal relationships are weakening?
• How can somatic and body practices help people stay present during difficult collective work?
• How can introspection and reflection strengthen participation in social change efforts?