Ideas

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

It’s the holiday season and guess what that means? If you’re a host, your house will probably be turned upside down for the next two months. Deep cleaning that one room you never go in? Check. Panicking about whether you have enough chairs? Check. Making sure you have enough Tupperware for everyone to take food home so your fridge doesn’t suffer the consequences? Triple check.

If you’re not a host, you’re probably mentally preparing yourself and your social battery to be around multiple people for extended periods. You’ll see your long-distance primo who lives on the other side of the world or sit across from your tia who has opinions about everything and everyone. You’ll be in community with so many people, and honestly, some of them you chose, and some of them just come with the package.

But here’s the thing: for this blog, I’m asking you to think of yourself as the host. Ask yourself: How am I making sure my party is the place to be? Not just “how do I survive this,” but how do I create a space where people actually want to be? Where everyone feels welcome, even the cousin who brought gluten-free tamales, that let’s be honest, nobody’s really going to eat.

That question led me down a rabbit hole about what makes a leader someone you’d want to be led by or have on your team. Because when you think about it, great leadership is a lot like great hosting. It’s rooted. Rooted in relationships, history, and cultural accountability, prioritizing collective well-being, thriving, and sustainability across generations. It’s not about being the center of attention or having all the answers. It’s about creating the conditions where your community can thrive, where people feel seen and valued, and where your intentionality shows up even when you’re not in the room.

So what does that actually look like? Let’s break down the hosting checklist that every rooted leader needs:

1 A Theme That Means Something (Purpose)
Every great party starts with a reason for celebration – a birthday, a wedding, a graduation, or a baby shower. Even when you’re hosting the whole family for the holidays, there is a why: we’re gathering to celebrate another year together, share food, and create memories (even if your tia has opinions and your cousin brought those tamales). You can’t tell people to show up without them knowing what they’re showing up for.

Same with leadership. Your team needs to know ‘the why’ behind what they’re doing. Not just “we have a deliverable due” but why it actually matters. What are we building together? Who does it serve? A rooted leader makes sure everyone is on the same page about purpose, so people aren’t just showing up – they’re invested.

Check Understanding: This should be a sentence everyone at your party (team) should be able to finish: “We’re here to ____ together and it matters because ____”

2 Know What Everyone Brings to the Table (Pay Attention to Strengths)
When you’re planning your holiday gathering, you already know who brings what to the table. Your prima always shows up with dessert that has everyone asking for the recipe. Your brother is the one who can talk to anyone and gets the whole room laughing. That one cousin who quietly makes sure nothing runs out before anyone notices (like the toilet paper). You didn’t hand out assignments, people naturally bring their gifts.

That’s how leadership works too. Pay attention to people’s strengths, passions and encourage them to shine in those areas. You wouldn’t ask your tio who can’t cook to be in charge of the main dish, right? So, why put your most creative team member on spreadsheet duty? Invite people to show up as themselves grounded in their why and strengths, not as whoever you think they should be.

Check Understanding: Can you name one unique strength each person your team brings? Can they name their own?

3 A Playlist Everyone Can Dance To (Knowing When to Listen)
You start the party with your carefully curated playlist. Then your cousin connects to the Bluetooth and suddenly we’re playing cumbia. Someone else adds reggaeton. Before you know it, abuelita has put on some Ceclia Cruz. And honestly? The party is better for it. Everyone is dancing and feeling it. I want to see everyone move those hips!

Leaders need to pass the aux too. Be open to ideas you didn’t say at first, perspectives you don’t hold, and approaches you’re not familiar with. The goal isn’t “my way” – it’s “what works for us.” The best hosts know when to let go and let the party find its own rhythm. Sometimes your plan goes out the window and that’s when the magic happens!

Check Understanding: Who’s had the aux lately besides you? What did they add that you wouldn’t have thought of?

4 A Table with Enough Seats for Everyone (Belonging)
Remember when you were stressing about having enough chairs? But here’s the real question: even when everyone has a seat, are they actually part of the conversation? You know what dooms a party? When people break off into their little groups and your long-distance cousin doesn’t know where they fit. When someone spends the whole time by the food table because nobody brought them into the circle.

Rooted leaders build bridges between people. You make sure that everyone (quiet, loud and in between) get pulled into conversations. You connect people who wouldn’t normally talk. You notice when someone’s on the outside and you bring them in. It’s not just about having physical space – it’s about making sure everyone actually feels like they’re part of what’s happening, not just watching from the sidelines.

Check Understanding: At your last gathering (or meeting), who was on the edges? Did you notice? What did you do about it?

5 A Dance Floor Big Enough for Big Moves (Learning and Growth)
You ever notice how at a good party, people surprise you? Your shy cousin who never says much suddenly gets on the dance floor and has everybody watching. Someone tries a move they clearly just learned from TikTok, stumbles through it, and everyone cheers them on anyway. By the end of the night, people are doing things they would’ve been too scared to try when they walked in. That’s because you created space for people to grow, not just show up as they already are.

Rooted leaders do the same. They give people room to stretch, to try things they’ve never done before, to grow beyond their current role. You celebrate the attempts, not just the perfect executions. You make it clear that getting better matters more than already being the best. When people know they have space to develop and won’t get roasted for being a work in progress, that’s when you see real transformation.

Check Understanding: Who on your team is ready for a bigger move but you haven’t given them the floor yet? What’s stopping you?

6 A Morning After That Still Feels Good (Impact and Care)
The morning after texts matter. The “thank you for coming,” the “that was so fun,” the “you make it home safe?” Then the group chat where everyone’s reliving the highlights, already talking about when we’re doing this again. That follow-up is what turns a good party into a tradition people actually look forward to.
Do the same after your projects wrap. Check in on your people. Celebrate what you built together. Reflect on what worked and what didn’t so the next time is even better. The best parties and leadership aren’t measured by how perfect everything went in the moment. They’re measured by how people felt, what relationships got stronger, and whether what you built together will last beyond this one gathering.

Check Understanding: What did this last project leave behind besides the work itself? Are you building something that lasts or just checking boxes?
Leadership, like hosting, isn’t about you. It’s about community you’re building and the space you’re creating for others to thrive. You can’t be everywhere at once, but your intentionality can be. The way you show up, the way you make the room, the way you care – that is what people carry with them after the party’s over.

So now maybe the real question: Is your leadership the kind people show up for out of obligation or the kind they don’t want to miss?

Related Tool: Rooted in Leadership

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